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IT WAS THE BIZARRO OF TIMES, IT WAS THE WORSTARO OF TIMES.

by Stylus Bazaar

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1.
ILLI blown out bellies at the top of mountain tops at the last party your neighbors had to call the cops i really like donkey ears because they go flop i popped a balloon just to watch the fucker pop i shot myself a man just to watch his heart stop i love my snot collection it is sectioned into crops your mom is so hot in the summer watch me watch i see her take off her cloth nakie time is hot PILLZ and i stop to see the ladies when the british are invading dont give me a look like i dont know what im saying ill be spraying you with hoses while you model in some poses then we get cozy with a stogie buy a dozen roses the best part of the bible were the parts about moses i focus all my power on picking famous peoples noses we are your your saviors because we are the bizarro chosen we'll leave you frozen with the help of icy blue potions CHORUS Your mothers a dove, your mothers a dove i'm the reason youll never find love x4 ILLI i know you dont want to see me open up this can theres a very tiny fan at the center of my hand and i plan to take the world over with my family fam we're squidy at the center and we like to eat ham bam! i just blew your mind the time that ive wasted i have traced to a mime i interregated him but he didnt tell me shit the mime was spiteful and too legit to quit CoLONP silence is golden i wish it was a lotion if mcneal is weed then i am holden im foldin your clothes im dating a lesbian gilbert goffrey is my number one favorite thespian lets go eat at bennigans go act like we are men again i like super duper sour birds they taste like lemon hens when you see me on the internet your always calling shenigans my number one hobby is painting pretty poison pentagrams CHORUS ILLI its illithid from philly kid can you hear my sonic bids i filled my fridge with hydroponic pigs try yo tonic with a little bit of cid see the world with tantric tunnel vision get in my kitchen! and bake me a horse! meat from a horsie is my secret power force i teach a course at your community college ill teach all you kids to be motherfucking scholars! PILLZ hollar at your boy when you see him unemployed the economies the best in our bizarro void my number one joy is christopher lloyd he went back to the future OY OY! COLON P bizarro pillz your such a punk rocker i like you so much i have your picture in my locker my father was a boxer my mother was a copper they both kicked ass and were really good at soccer CHORUS
2.
hi my name is hi my name is hi my name is illithid baby i got gravy in the front seat and a trunk stuffed with lunch meat watch me drive by as i'm sippin on the sun screen i come clean as i bang a maid in a confessional booth i know what she had for lunch, i'm an intestinal sleuth an impregnable dude, i've never been kidnapped i like intelligent food, kim ung-yong bibimbapped i got sim slapped with a meaty yoga arm i got a bunch of roman dudes at my dreamy toga farm when in rome, do as the roman dudes one time i got high and thought what if gary coleman grew? ooooohhh whoa now i know kung fu i like french kisses cause they taste like tongue stew i like stench pisses cause they smell like asparagus just wait in the car because you'll embarrass us your mother's a whale, your mother's a whale i'm the reason you're going to jail x 4 yo i'm chillin with divorcees in palm tree weather i love me a horsey but like your mommy even better tie my tentacles to a pole and play a game of tether ball flog me pour on the hot wax and shop at the leather mall and you better call saul sashimi get steamy in the sauna i'm looking dreamy in the conga line leave me for the stronger guy with knee highs and no panty lines i can't breathe right in longer lines i binge watch michael j fox in family ties i'm a family guy no peter griffin hey listen i'm mad annoying i can't sleep or count sheep cause your dad is snoring got a hook for a hand, i am the candy man go home and, be a family man check my flat top and biceps star spangled tattoos cash crops and mic checks sonic boom blast you and cast you in the corner start the corner pressure don't call me jigsaw hell naw i can torture better
3.
chillin with my boys lloyd banks is swank mc lars thanked me with a shank for pancakes its a fake ID time me see me wank im the fastest fapper famous rapper dapper dank your laughter stanks eat a mint god damn it close your mouth bow out my house and can it and i planned it, a beautiful picnic rappers eating lunch, god there's no limit my business is a figment, a fraction of a minute if you got beef see my neice she will bring it she's 5 years old she eats mold and can sing it pick up your phone i know your home and its ringing king me, i inspected her checkers they were chilling ive got bling in my grill chill man damn its fillings ive got billions of billings from millions of killings mc lars you are hard gangster at large in the building CHORUS YOUR MOTHER'S A CAT/YOURMOTHER'S A CAT/ I'M THE REASON/ YOUR BODY IS FAT if you can heal me i can be your tank ya feel me?! i can plan your wake you stank! like a potent skunk weed if your head is itchy i'll rub lotion in your weave you best believe i'm taking no prisoners i'd like to thank all my radio listeners the catholic church is full of shady old ministers Cassandra Peterson, that lady's so sinister I'm a winner sir, all i do is win i huff and i puff all the glue i binge i'm a big bad wolf but i'm not a lame furry i didn't blow that house down! i swayed the jury and these are their stories, we're an elite squad the stylus crew's a special unit, a gang that beat boggs i was raped at staples, i was sold a defective labeler i had to call my boy in, you know detective stabler
4.
do the bone dance connect your steps its skeletal hell if youll pet a cat that shat it is pettiful i have an iron skull i smoke a bowl my mind is metal full my kettle tool is black the pot i smoke is crack its wonderful my under wool keeps me warm in rare form my bones are glowing im bashful masterful, last of all my epidermis is showing im mowing the lawn cause your gone and my gnomes are growing im flowing red ghosts at my most special place: a colon you think flow grows on trees lol no yo not at this show so go home yo ho im a pirate thought id try it rhyme lies till you buy it id fly a kite but im to high for my guy pit hes a cupid angel lucid angles cut corners in my dreams stanley steam clean bubble foams roams with bowling teams lanes are shiney grimey ceilings find me i apply stolen creams stay smooth to lose to dance dance revolu - sheeens Chorus Your mother's a horse, your mother's a horse I'm the reason, BONEDANCE do the bone dance prance in a field with boy george organic energy is not your enemy drink a soy surge roy g biv is my proud homosexual friend he's always on the phone and perplexed by men i flex what i spend i'm all about dat cash i recorded this track on a 2008 dell about to crash and i make a splash in the sea witch scene i'm ursula, i'm mean bitch mean i'm a fiend for just dance games on the wii i see you through my scope as i camp inside a tree check my samurai stance as we footsie dance dance praise the sun as i harvest and plant plants and i can't even be believin that i really can't even hippie trash with clothes that clash it's steely dan season and i'm the reason your mother got smashed and dashed by charlie sheen watch me bust a move and groove to dance dance revolu - sheeens
5.
colon p positioned commissioned my cul-de-sac is bitchin my kitchen is a prison i own a pack of mittens i wear them in the summer share them with a plumber my toilet clogged with a log of lumber i got wood, that makes me look pregnant if you got lemons, send it to a peasant it's a present, for all your homies show me what it's like to bike when your lonley you know me, im your number one girl colon p stole 3 summer fun curls i put 2 in my nose and one in my mouth i doubt youll have fun when you leave our house cause we bizarro and sorrow we smak it in the face i taste like chicken in my smitten secret place it's the curious case of benjamin bear he had a bunch of fur, then he bought nair illi welcome to my hole i know im known to troll see me on the pole when im feelin kind of bold im told im a gentleman im cold in my dental damn lisa needs braces face it its a dental plan when i go down i get to the bottom of this i have a bottle of piss i love models with tits i coddle with fish and fondle up dicks ronald mcdonald molests kids i win money pour honey on my squid body you worked on my car your car work is shotty stop me, i came i go go favorite bird to tame is a dodo schoolgirl from killbill your name is go go drive me insane id hit that fap fap fo sho when the green light is green i claim to go go i kidnapped santa clause and trapped him in a snow globe pillz take my dough body and sell it for scraps smell all my craps sell all my hats i saw the play cats i was foiled again i took a big crap broke her toilet like a man men take big shits thats what we do turd is the word i like the word poo im blinded by love like mr magoo im finding a muff like your sisters vagoo lets take a canoe to the side store buy an old western and buy a fine whore lay her on the floor watch me squash it missionary position so only i can watch it i see cow boys in hats dont clown me like that i got power it pops got my lonley sway back i got flour in socks yo homie dont play that i got showered in cocks sony makes gay crap
6.
illi soap up the rope its a slippery slope learn to cope with the pope for selling you dope holy drug dealer batman phantom of the oprea when we ridin bikes you know we tandem proper we ridin down the street so clean and elegant while colon p pops a squat on the trunk of an elephant joey gladstone mr. woodchuck so damn intelligent when hitler killed the jews who knew they'd be heaven sent pillz BENNIGANS! I'LL HAVE THE TURKEY O TOOLE! FOOLS! YOU KNOW HOW I DO! DUDE! COMPENSATION PLANS RULE! JEWS! CONCENTRATION CAMPS, COOL! WHY DOES THIS SUMMER CAMP SMELL LIKE BURNING FLESH! I BET ITS A BUMMER TO DIE A DISCERNING DEATH! CHECK THE BREAST OF A COOLER SASH BRA! HITLER SHOULD BE A CHARACTER IN SUPER SMASH BRAWL! chorus your mother's a shrew, your mother's a shrew I'm the reason for killing the jews x4 colon p yo it's a colon p i'm a nazi wannabe ill seduce you for free i am so sultry in my opinion christians are culty oh oblivion? that will be lulzy like the holocaust i am like a boss i will challenge you to a game of ring toss i will bring sauce to a sporting event if your life is boring, then, repent jesus christ for life he's my number one homie he is very nice and has a lot to show me like magnets and it how it is they work like PCP smoking clowns those icp jerks every circus clown should be drowned in drano i will take your heart bitches call me kano everytime i fart i think of john stamos he was not the antichrist but he came close pillz YO IM THE MAN WITH THE PLAN TO DOMINATE CHOOSE ME FOR YOU LEADER YOU KNOW YOU WANNA NOMINATE OBAMA OR TRUMP CAINT DO GRIPPING SHIT I AM THE LEADER WITH THE IRON FUCKING FIST CAUSE I AM AN ANDROID METAL SKELETAL FRAME TAKE A POLAROID AND SEE INSIDE MY BRAIN AND SHAKE IT SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE LOG ALL MY CALLS LIKE A MOTOROLA SCRIPTURE illi in a barnyard stall i brushed the mane of your sister your father was a horse they called him mister no sir, i dont like it with the pretty gritty kitty litter i wont try it don't fight it, you know this song is ill im a better leader than kim jong il i chill in the sun and my fanny gets tanner this song is pseudo wholsome like danny tanner
7.
yo its illithid im in sports illustrated you know ive been berrated outdated from my town i was found impregnanted, displayed inside a cow i dont know just how this must sound to a crowded crowded crowd peep the squid crown just chillin on my dome i wish i had a beard just like a garden gnome and i wanna go back home to my squid planet the fish farmers panic when they find me they will can it encase me in steel my face needs a meal hate the taste of veal to me spam tastes real im bizarro and brilliant making tens of millions im chillin on your farm killin sheep by the billions im willing to be copacetic i will make it unexpected when i take your farm over i will not regret it so check my delivery a squid you consider me i'd bang judy jetson then youd imprison me CHORUS your mother's a sheep, your mother's a sheep i'm the reason your farm features a creep PILLZ YO ITS PILLZ! IM A KILL THIS TRACK EVERYTHING I DO IS DEVOID OF TACT ITS A FACT THAT I FAP MY LITTLE DOUGHY WEINER WHEN I SEEN HER ON 4CHAN IT BRIGHTENED MY DEMEANOR AND I MEAN YOUR MOTHER JESUS BROTHER SHES A LOVELY GIRL SHES A BARNYARD ANIMAL ITS A MAGICAL WORLD WITH MY LITTLE DOUGHY WENIER SHEEP SEX COULNDNT BE CLEANER SHES STD FREE LIKE SCHAFFER THE DELETER AN ERASER OF WORLDS HES COMPLACENT AND COLD HE WILL FACE HER TEN FOLD HE TASTES LIKE BLACK MOLD HE'S A FEATURE CREEP IM A CREATURE CALLED P WHEN I SEE YOUR FLOCK OF SHEEP ILL BE BALLS DEEP AND I DONT MEAN TO BE SUCH A NASTY BOY WHEN I WAS A KID I NAMED MY PEEPEE ELROY WHEN I WATCHED THE JETSONS I ALWAYS FELT COZY THE PILLSBURY ANDROID YOU KNOW ID SCREW ROSIE colon p yo it's colon p i love freedom cause it's free a 5 finger discount amounts to something cheap because freedom is weak and so is obama one time at a party i made out with madonna i pooped in a sauna and then things got hot one time i gave a sponge bath to mc frontalot i cum a lot during alien sex i smoked some pot with damien hess it was the best he thought i was keen he should have seen what was inside my jeans it's a vagina and it is bizarro that means its a penis the size of a rhino and i know im the feature creep at my college im the teacher of the week and i smell like asshole im fidel castro if i was a jetson id totally bang astro
8.
illi get scooped up by a seagull take me from this primal mess of a nation we're governed by birdlaw, take me to my final destination without hesitation, i trust in the stars take me to space, scrape the rust off my bars i'm free now, free to spit this hot lava ink rescued by a robot as i watched my space ship sink and i think it's for the best, towards the wild wild west i don't understand humans, when they smile smile less i got style style check, at the stylus bazaar i can't stand the taste of a mild cigar in a while, we're far from what's left of the planet a gaping black hole, a split second of panic and it's tantric, this feeling unending feed me seaweed, my achilles' heel suspending temporarily unstable, foretold by clairvoyant sources tempora fried fable, my parents are horses Chorus Your mother's a horse, Your mother's a horse I'm the reason, your parents divorced pillz yo! i can cook you some sushi that is my design, raw and juicy and tonight we dine, in a pizza hotel it was built, upon the grounds of hell watch us swell, inside that pizza belly i like my peanutbutter with seedless jelly leave us smelly when you vomit us out over the moon, goes a comet and a cow AND WE LAUGHED! LIKE A PACK OF LITTLE DOGGIES! EATING UP OUR CEREAL BEFORE IT GETS BRITTLE AND SOGGY! AND LOG ME OUT CAUSE I'M LEAVING THE PLANET GOTTA GET OUT BEFORE WE'RE FREEZING TO FRAGMENTS AND MAGIC! IS JUST UNEXPLAINED SCIENCE LEAD ME ASTRAY UNDER TRAINED GUIDANCE YA'LL GONNA MAKE ME ACT A FOOL! UP IN SPACE, UP IN SPACE! col. p i am colon p but ya'll can call me master i'm a no limit mp mana caster i can breathe in space because i don't have lungs one time i installed in my jaw 59 tounges as i sung the song of a lonely space siren then we stole the ship of a phoney space pirate and he cried and cried so we took him along made him swab his own deck and cook us some prawn my poop turned neon orange, it was an elegant dump oh wait, that was just president trump we flushed him down the toilet with the rest of the planet it was fun while it lasted but it's time to get blasted off into space, adventure awaits check the rear view, make sure my dentures are straight see my smile sparkle, see my sparkle shine stylus bazaar signing off, see you next time

credits

released December 25, 2018

All vocals, instrumentals, and album art by M.G. Sweeney.

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Stylus Bazaar Lake Worth, Florida

Just your friendly neighborhood rap group consisting of two robots and a squidman. Nothing to see here, move along.

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